Because it is International Women’s Day, I’ve put together a list of the five women I’d like to have over for a dinner party. I have chosen five because, after I’m seated at my table, that’s how many seats I have left. I’ve only chosen women who are still alive. And, I’m giving reasons.
5. Kate Pierson. This woman has been the one to whom I’ve looked up for 25 years. Next month, she turns 67 years old and she’s still touring and making music and having a great time. When I was twelve, I became a life-long superfan of The B-52s. That’s when I decided that she was the type of woman I wanted to grow up to be. The fact that she’s still being that same amazing woman means that I made a pretty decent judgment call. She just seemed to be so filled with life and that was something to which I was deeply attracted. Sure, we lead different types of lives. I’m recording artist. Nor am I the proprietor of the coolest vacation attractions in the country. But I do have a zest for life. Being healthy and happy are top of my priority list. Art is also a priority for me. Kate would totally be invited to my dinner party. How could anyone possibly have a bad time with this lady around? (Treat yourself to a sample of Kate’s new solo album here.)
4. Ruby Bridges. I’m not sure why but for some reason I’m totally obsessed with Ruby’s story and her important role that she played in the civil right’s movement. While I realize she truly had no idea what was actually happening when she was a little girl, paving the wave for black children everywhere to receive the education they should have been receiving in the first place, I still think it would be amazing to meet her, hear her talk about her experiences, and just simply get to know her. No doubt she’d make a fascinating dinner guest.
3. Abbi Jacobson. I know you’d expect me to pick Amy Poehler or Miranda Hart or Tina Fey or even Aubrey Plaza for my token “funny girl”. And at first I wanted to just do an article about 20 funny women I’d like to have over for dinner. I have to admit that, lately, I’ve taken quite the fancy to the television series Broad City and Abbi has become, quite possibly, my favorite funny lady on the small screen… or any screen for that matter. Watching Abbi generally ends up making me feel awkward and sad for her. Despite all of the awful luck her character tends to experience, I find myself still totally respecting her. Broad City manages to show me two women who are pathetic in many ways and yet I’m still, not only rooting for them, but respecting them HARD at the end of each episode. I’m not even sure how they do it. But after watching the series, I’ve decided that Abbi Jacobson is THE funny gal I’d invite over for a dinner. Also, I admit that I’d very much like to use my opportunity to meet Abbi as a chance to pitch myself as a someone who’d make a great returning character on her show… maybe I could play the weird girl behind the counter next time Abbi takes pain meds and ends up inside of Whole Foods? Additionally, and this is important, when Abbi is in her undies, I am loving it. Because she’s totally hot and built exactly like I am (only she is lacking the whole saggy stretched out skin stuff of course). It’s refreshing to see someone with my body type taking off her clothing and vacuuming Fred Armisen, the giant baby man’s apartment.
2. Allison Corser. Twenty-five years ago, I sent off a coupon for a pen pal that I cut out of the back of a book (none other than the first in a series called Pen Pals… see what they did there?). I was matched with Allison who lived in Wisconsin and played the viola. She called her parents by their first names and she was sophisticated by my hillbilly standards. We kept in contact quite regularly for years. While we grew apart in our teen years, we reconnected about a decade ago and today, I enjoy keeping in touch with her on Facebook. It bothers me a great deal that we’ve never met in person. If she still lived in the country, it would be easier to make that dream come true but since she is abroad (which is exotic and fancy to me… I’m still a hillbilly), it’s not so simple. Not only would I invite her to my dinner party simply so that I could spend time with her in person but also because she’s a truly interesting person. Check it out… she recently published a book.
1. Caroline Andrews. Once in a while, you see someone in public and you decide you need to know them. Occasionally, this works out in your favor. And even more rarely, this weird stalking lands you with a really really good friend. I’m so glad this funny, sweet, interesting, authentic, compassionate, intelligent woman happened to buy a house in my city instead of some other city because I can honestly say, in many ways, I was lost before she showed up here. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, my children are a million times happier now that this family is around. Even my husband loves them. I’ve never felt like a friend has had my back quite like my Caroline does. So, of course she’d have to fill the last seat at my dinner table because when she’s around, I feel safe and secure. Not to mention, everyone else would think I was super cool to have a friend like her.